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Monthly Archives: August 2010

Why? – You make me crazy

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I lost it!

My previous feeling towards you!

It’s gone!

Why?

It’s weird, hey?

It wasn’t a happy moment at all

I was never together with you

and never will be!

It should be a pain, right?

the feeling, where I only can see you

without you looking back at me

But why I enjoyed it?

I was already happy, just by seeing you.

And why?

What happened now?

Though I think I lost that feeling,

I still can’t get you out of my mind

why?

I always think about you!

Even now,

I am thinking about you

though there is no more lovely feeling

Still

I think about you in bad ways

Why?

I miss you

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Seeing you just add another pain

Looking at you from a far just worsen my wound

Dear, don’t you see me here screaming in pain?

I miss you

again, I miss you

I miss the way you smile

I miss you

again, I miss you

I miss the way you talk

I miss you

again, I miss you

I miss your clear voice

that once bring warmth to my heart

Why is it pain that I feel?

Why missing you is a suffering I should bear?

I love you and I don’t want this feeling just fade away

I miss you

again, I miss you

I miss the way you smile

I miss you

again, I miss you

I miss the way you talk

I miss you

again, I miss you

I miss your clear voice

that once bring warmth to my heart

>

You walked away,

Leaving me here

Without any farewell, you left me alone

It is cold, It is cold,

It is cold without you….

~*~

This one is sort of like a lyric. I was just … up to making something more than just an ordinary easy poem. =)

Perpisahan

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Ketika harus berpisah, aku mungkin tidak menangis.

Aku mungkin akan berpikir akan hal lain yang akan kuhadapi.

Aku begitu sibuk memikirkan hal-hal lain, hal yang mungkin tidak pernah kulihat atau kualami sebelumnya.

Tetapi setelah waktu berlalu -entah singkat ataupun lama-,

aku akan merasakan bahwa aku kehilangan sesuatu.

Sesuatu yang tertinggal ketika aku berpisah.

Sesuatu yang terlihat, terasa atau terdengar setiap kali di masa lalu.

Aku akan kembali melihat ke belakang dan mengenang semua itu.

Aku akan mulai menitikkan air mata sambil membayangkan apa yang kini tak ada lagi.

Terlambat.

Mungkin itu kata yang tepat ketika aku terlambat menyatakan perasaanku.

Terlambat.

Mungkin itu kata yang tepat ketika aku mengabaikan hal yang biasa terjadi.

Terlambat.

Mungkin itu kata yang muncul dan memukulku ketika aku menyadari kesalahanku.

Sayonara Satsuki-san! I wish to see you again!

Twitter fasting

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I don’t know how to put this. This far, after so long without SS501 news at all, it feels like my SS501 craziness has decreased a lot. For your information, I think I already passed my withdrawal symptoms -perhaps-.

Lately, I became closer to God. Especially after the Youth Camp. I (myself, my own personal view feeling) felt like I’m growing in Lord. Especially since 3days ago, I went to Bible Study, KKR (Kebaktian Kebangkitan Rohani – Revival Serivce ?not sure with my own translation? ). Though none of each touched me dramatically. But because of them all, I feel like I’m growing in Christ.

Last night or the night before, an idea popped out in my mind. I want to fast. No tweeting for a week!

So, from Sunday, 8 August 2010 till Sunday, 15 August 2010 I’m not going to tweet. I won’t go to TweetDeck or Twitter website to update my status. But I still tweet through some sites that are linked to my twitter (such as this blog or formspring). I say that is not tweeting!!! As I am a twitter addict, I couldn’t help myself to peek to twitter and read my mentions. 😦

Till this time, I haven’t tweet at all since yesterday. 😦 I saw many mentions. But unfortunately darlings, I cannot reply them through twitter. 😦

Friday Misfortune

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Hi, I just want to share this a misfortune moment with you guys. Kekeke… (now I can laugh at myself, at that time I annoyed!)

Well, it was Friday the 6th of August 2010. I actually woke up pretty early as in 7.30am. I thought it was early because I thought I have much time to get ready before my class that starts at 9am. J So I turned on my laptop and had my devotional time. As I finish, I went tweeting and look around the web and stuff till about 8am. Then, I check the bus timetable. !!! I need to leave the house at 8.20am because the bus will depart from my bus stop at 8.31am. So I was like (O.O)! I didn’t have time to take a shower. I just jumped off my bed and changed my pyjamas and brushed my hair. I turned off my laptop and just grab my bag. Put on my slipper or sandal (Sepatu-sandal ~what’s the correct English term?)  Then I rushed to the kitchen and made a cup of Milo. Gulped it and ran to catch up with my housemate who was catching the same bus but already left. >.<

I ran to the bus stop and arrived there safely. *sighed by that time* My bus hasn’t arrived yet. I put on a smile and started chatting with my housemate. Then a few minutes later my bus arrived. I went on the bus. I sat in the nearly full bus. (So I didn’t get to sit next to my housemate, we were sitting far apart because there are only a few empty seats are available). I sighed. I took out my mobile phone and wonder where my class is, while the bus was already moving.  Just before I opened my timetable in mobile phone, I already remembered that my first class on that day that starts at 9am is a food lab! SHOCKED!!! Why was I shocked? Because I didn’t bring my lab coat! Well, at that point, I thought, “I will be late if I stopped here to go back home and caught the next bus. (The next bus departs at 9.01am. Ok lah, I just rent the lab coat there for $2.” While thinking of this, I stared outside the bus and saw that the bus had just passed 1 bus stop after my bus stop. I was sad, I looked down. DOUBLE SHOCK!!! I was wearing unclosed shoes! My heart almost stopped beating. So I just pressed the bell to stop the bus at the next stop. So I went off 2 bus stops away from my bus stop and walk back home to change my sandals to shoes and to get my lab coat.

While walking, I was really sad, angry, anxious, afraid… All mixed in one. I was also thinking how can I get to my class as early as possible (because I thought I would be late for sure as the next bus would came 1 minute past 9.) Just as I was walking towards my house, just in front of my neighbour’s house, all the papers in my file fell off! Oh, S****! I was carrying my file upside down all the way! Huh!!!!!! I went down and collected all the papers that were all scattered. L  I got home, open the door. I saw my houseparent, Bernard. “What happened?” He asked.  I answered, “I forgot something…” Bernard, “Then you missed the bus!?” “Yeah, can you please drop me off???” I pleaded. Bernard said ok. So I rushed to my room, quickly changed my slipper. While doing that, my houseparent, Jo (as for Joke – read Yo-Ke  – a Holland name), called me and told me that they are ready to go! Huaaa… I just slipped in my feet in my shoes after I put on my socks. Then I grab my lab coat and just threw it to a paper bag. (It was “3” paper bag, my mobile phone bag) and ran outside!

Thank God and thank my houseparents, I arrived at uni 5 minutes to 9am! By then, the only challenge left was how to get to the class in 5 minutes! My houseparents dropped me off near the bus stop that was on the east side of the uni. My class was on the building 400 which is located on the west side of the uni (just before the stadium). Plus, my class is on the first floor – the entrance is on the second floor! L

I was brisk walking all the way! Fortunately, the class hadn’t started yet when I arrived to the class. J Yeay! Thank you Lord! It’s a happy ending story, as we all cooking for the lab! Hehehehe…  we had to cook a stir fry with Asian greens. Funny thing is that we were all cooking using the lab coat and hair net. Hahaha…

The result : Mee goreng and fried rice.

Fried Rice made in lab

Mee Goreng made in Lab

Missing-you-so-bad Syndrome

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I stare at a distance

Looking at nothing but emptiness

You are not there anymore

My eyes are getting wet

Tears can’t be stopped from flowing

Moreover, my heart…

I cannot stop my heart to cry out your name

I miss you

~*~

Too long without you,

It feels like, it’s a good bye

Though neither of us ever said so

Last time you said …

That there will be a next time

~*~

It’s been a long time,

I thought I must forget you

But I never want to leave you

Though everyone said it’s a bad thing to be with you

My heart still strongly love you

~*~

I believe you don’t want to just disappear like this

I believe you still love your pretties

I believe you will come

I believe you will stand there again and smile

I believe and I am sure I will hear your voice again

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