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Star

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Always think myself as a star… not like a movie star or celebrities but a star of its own. Because my name has a meaning… Danika means morning star. My mom said that she gave me the name because I was born in the morning but there is still star that is still visible in the morning.

 

Anyway,

 

I do believe I am a star.

But a star stays in space far away from earth

alone

and cold

not everyone can approach a star easily

A star shines

but not the earth not the world

“what fellowship light has with darkness?”

an absolute fact that cannot be argued about

a painful fact that we cannot be together

we meet and we go

we need to move on and continue on

not to forget we’ve once been quite close

but to face forward and go on to follow our own orbital path 

which never be together

Emotion

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You gave it a life,

my feeling

of missing somebody.

You gave it back,

a sense of loving

the happiness of giving.

You and I,

our story

exhilarating

but short.

Because I don’t want to fall deep

Because I would rather use my head rather than my feeling

Because I love those I have known first, who love me too

Because you are just an interesting puzzle

 

Mature

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I haven’t blog at all this year… Quite busy, when I am not, things happen or I prefer to do something else. Or I just don’t have much to share.

But I should have checked my blog… I know that there is not much to see here, but I need to, just to keep it up to date.

So yeah, continuing from my last blog post, I need to talk about renewing my passport and my visa. My memories has gone a bit blurry but well, I might just try writing what I remember.

The passport and visa story

So actually, my passport is expired about June 2013 and my visa on March 2013. But since I was told to go back to Indonesia like late January- February 2013, my dad advised me to renew it before hand in Perth. So I had an experience in renewing my student visa but I had nothing about renewing or making passport. I once renew my visa in 2009 after I finish Canning college. I renewed it via e-Visa, did that electronically. That visa last for 3 years, but because you know something happened, I need another year for my study.

This time I had to renew my passport first, because the requirement of renewing my visa is to have a passport that is valid for at least 6 months. Mine’s not!

Renewing Indonesian passport is not that hard but it didn’t go as smooth as I thought. *scrapping my memories of how I did it* So, I renewed my passport in Perth, somewhere in the middle or early December 2012. I went to the Indonesian consulate. Get the form. But I went back home because I didn’t bring all the requirements. All I could remember is that they need my previous passport, passport photos, the fee and  the visa entitlement.But then the consulate has this “printing” issue where they said their passport printer is broken and all sort of passport making applications will be sent to Darwin and processed there. This way, it give me another trouble because they don’t accept normal payment, they only accept money order in which they will sent the money to Darwin. Secondly, by processing it to Darwin, it will take around 2 working weeks. Doh! 

Anyway, I managed to sort it out. oh yeah, one thing. I didn’t know how to get the visa entitlement but a nice man in the consulate office told me how to do it and print it off for me. 🙂

So yeah, back then I thought, without my passport, I won’t be able to apply for my visa. So I delayed my visa application.

By early January, I went to the consulate again to check if my passport is ready for me. Because the officer told me it would be ready in 2 weeks and if it’s done they will give me a call. But by early January I haven’t had any call and I was kinda pressured to get my visa done. So, that day I went there in the morning before I went to work. And not surprisingly but annoyingly, my passport is there, done. The story is I went there, queue, and I was served by this young lady. She asked me when I lodged my application. I said 8 December (if not mistaken). Then she asked to the people behind, and there is this guy said if it’s 8 December it must be done, and it is already done. So I took my passport and went to work. The funny thing is I got a call when I was at work like around 2 o’clock, telling me it’s from the consulate and my passport is ready to be pick-up. I was like 0.0 what? LOL. I told her that I took my passport early this morning. Doh! (I should have checked if I got two passport… just in case… hahaha).

Now with a new passport on the hand, let’s move to visa story.

As I what I know, I renew it online. The requirements was a valid insurance, recent medical record, valid passport, the fee and the confirmation of enrolment(CoE). That time, I tried to get my confirmation of enrolment first. Back then I thought I have to pay my tuition fee all in once to get it. Stupid thought. Thus, I asked my mom for my tuition fee. I went to the bank and stuff. After I can gather the money, I wanted to pay for my tuition fee. I tried finding my eInvoice to pay. But I couldn’t. I tried calling and they say because it’s still January, it’s not uploaded yet. Weird. So the next day or a few day after I physically went to Curtin. There then I found out that I only need $1000 deposit to get my CoE. *facepalm-moment* Well, I was relieved a lot. The girl who was serving me told me to email the Curtin visa officer to help me and to get my [Request to enrol in less than 100credits] from my course coordinator. Well, I emailed the visa officer. But to get the  [Request to enrol in less than 100credits] was hard. Usually I just fill up the form and put it in my course coordinator’s pigeon hole and they will sort it out later. But because I had this sense of urgency to get my visa before I went back to Indonesia, I wanted to get it sort it out as soon as possible. So I filled it out and went to look for my course coordinator, so I can get her signature and submitted to the administration office. But… oh dear… who expect that my course coordinator is on holiday for 2 weeks or 2 months, in which I would have gone back to Indonesia by the time she’s back on duty. So I went to the faculty receptionist and ask her, who else could sign my  [Request to enrol in less than 100credits] form. She gave me a name of the person who is just under the course coordinator and another lady’s name who is a head of the faculty or something. I went to look for her, and had to find out that she is also on holiday the same time as my course coordinator. *cries* So, I tried to find the head of faculty lady, but she was not in the office that time, so I just hand my form either to her pigeon hole or to the receptionist. I couldn’t remember.

To cut the story short, I got it most of it sorted out except my medical record because I didn’t had enough time. I got the emails and communicate with the visa officer, which means my application is received.

So, I went back to Indonesia for about 3-4weeks.

After I came back, I had to make appointment with the medical centre. Okay, here’s points to highlight. Making appointment is as easy as a phone call. But by phone call, you need your visa subclass number ready. It is also as easy as going to their website. But you will need your visa transaction number or something, as well as a credit card. Because I don’t have a credit card, I made an appointment via phone call.

After the phone the customer service lady sent me an email of lists of things I should prepare. I prepared them but I was not careful enough. It says I need to bring the forms. But it doesn’t say I had to fill it beforehand. So when I went to the medical centre, I went there with an empty form, and had to queue again after I finish filling it up. -_-

So, up till now, I still haven’t got any information or email on my new visa. I just hoped that it got processed and everything will be ok.

Mature,

So this is what drives me to blog again. 

I met a wall. Don’t know where to go.

This time, I find that I have to be strong not for myself but for those whom I care.

This time, I feel that the Lord doesn’t simply give me problems to make me mature, but give me the eyes, the ear and the heart to feel others’.

Usually if I have problems, I would share or vent it out. Asking advices and figure out the solution.

This time, I am faced with other people’s problems.

Told you, I’m hitting a wall. I don’t see a way out.

I used to be stupid or naive. I used to think if it is not one’s problem, one should not be worried or stressed. But I learn now, life does not work that way. One would be worried if the one he/she cared and loved is on trouble or having problem.

Well, it’s not I myself is free of problem. I am also stressed with my own stuff. But my loved ones is having problem and I don’t know how to solve it. It stresses me the most.Well, not solve, but maybe if I can bring anything or do anything to ease their pain will be better than me not knowing what can I do to them.

Well, talk to you later… sorry for giving such a long tedious writing today… Thank you so much to you all who manage to read up till this point. Love ya~~

Hello December :)

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It’s already December. Time flies…

Looking back at the last (previous) post, I think I need to tell you what happened.

So, I’ve got my result. God has been good to me, I passed everything. Thank God. I do feel really grateful. I am so relieved. Out of the three units I took, I got a PASS, a CREDIT and I think the other one is a DISTINCTION…

And after I got my result, I went to this dark (galau) days… where I woke up from my sleep and had nothing obliged to do. I mean like I really have nothing to do, no money to spent, no friends at my side (cuz they are either working or at school or doing their own stuff, pokoknya I’m home alone). Then yeah, I felt so empty, like I had this thoughts about myself, about who am I, what I am, the meaning of myself, my existence, my future, and so on and so forth. (Well, up to this day I still cannot figure out most of these questions but I just move on with what I have now).

So, during those galau days, I tried to find a job or just anything for me to do. Cuz if not I’m just going to sink deep. So I tried sending out resume to some shops in city and in Carousel shopping centre. I also applied for some volunteer works. But after a few days or weeks it was still nothing. Then like some friends offered me jobs, so I applied through them. At last, I got job from my church friend, Mario, in Hans café in Applecross.

It’s a good job, I actually like it. Though there are some stressful moments, I think they are still manageable and reasonable. I got it like 2 weeks ago, I think. My job is being a waitress and at the till, and sometimes I help with some kitchen-hand works. I like it because the boss and the colleagues are so good and friendly, like I think I can get along well. The café opens for lunch and dinner. I do both shifts, depending on the shifts given. It took me about 45minutes to an hour to get there or going back home. For now when I got a night shift, Mario take me home. (I feel I owed him a lot.) But after this Mario will go back to Indonesia, so I will have to get home by bus. Hopefully it will be okay, I mean I can get home safely. I think I should be fine catching the public transport. I am just a bit scared going through the dark park when I have to go home by myself.

I am happy I found a job, because I get pocket money. And today I went shopping. I set myself a little loose. (I should restrain myself a bit after this. Promise!) I bought stuff that I think I need. I bought bobby pins because my baby hair at my fringe already grew long. When I work, I need to tie back my hair, but those long baby hair are not long enough to be tied back, so I need some bobby pins. And I also bought a white shirt, cuz I don’t have any here in Perth, where my job requires a white top. I also bought a singlet cuz white clothes are mostly see through… (kinda…) And I also bought a handbag. My excuse for it is that my “old” handbag is made from velvet material, and it has some (kinda a lot of) scratches which made it look bad. 😦 I actually like my old handbag but now it looked unpresentable and some the materials is starting to fall off. I got the new handbag from Kate Hill with a good price, and I fell in love once I saw the price. I think $30 is a reasonable price for a handbag in Perth… and I quite like the model. And I bought some other few stuffs which I don’t really need but I want, just because.

AndActuallyIHaveAnotherStoryAboutRenewingMyPassportButIWillTellYouAboutThatTogetherWithTheStoryOfMeRenewingMyVisaAsWellIThinkItWillBeAGoodPostToShare.

Tonight…

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Yesterday night, I have been feeling gloomy and stressed. Actually it has been for days. And it is still there.

I have been scared of my result. I feel I didn’t study well for my last exam. I didn’t feel I did the exam well. That feeling has been lingering all the way, but I tried to push it away. So here I am a few days until the result is revealed. The feeling came back and it is grabbing my heart tight. I really hoped that I could pass, but that feeling of me not doing the exam well just cannot set me free. I need to pass my exam so I can pass the unit. This is my second time doing the unit, if I fail it again it’s done, I am terminated from my course. If it does happen, I really don’t know where I am going to go. I wish I could just throw away everything and start everything from zero, from scratch, from the very bottom. But I couldn’t. I have reached this far not alone, but with some help here and there. I cannot throw away everything, I owe people from helping me and so I cannot leave them watching me falling.

I prayed. I prayed again. And again. I prayed to my God who is glorious, loving and forgiving. I prayed if he could let me pass my unit. He is the owner of all, He has the power to do anything. He is just yet kind. I was trying to feel the assurance, when I read my devotion this morning. All humans fall short of the law, thus He sent His Son to made it up, so everyone who believes will be saved by their faith. I really wish my God could save me with my education too. I fell short, and I hope He could save me.

So tonight, I need some comfort. Just like the one I saw in the drama Cinderella Step-sister. Where Hyo Seon put her trust in Ki Hoon. On the first episode she said this to Ki Hoon when she got into trouble losing one’s ring:

“If you say the moon is square, I think it is.

If you say salt is sweet and candy is salty, I probably drink salt water and spit out the candy.”

“Because you said I would find that ring, I don’t think I lost it.”

– Hyo Seon, Cinderella Step Sister ep 1.

Then she said it again somewhere in the middle or near the end of the drama, she asked Ki Hoon to say everything is going to be ok. Because in her mind, she trusts what Ki Hoon says.

It is that kind of comfort I wish I had. That time Ki Hoon didn’t say everything is going to be alright but he said that they can work something out. It is this kind of saying I wish to hear. Saying there is going to be a way out of this problem.

Tell me that it’s going to be okay. It’s going to be fine. There is a solution.

No…

Maybe not…

Just stay beside me. I think it would be enough….

“Tonight, I’m afraid of being alone.”

“Today I’m just not strong at all
I just want to listen to the lullabies you sing for me”

I’ll finish this with a cute video of Ric-Syung moment…

내 옆에 있어,좀… (Stay by my side, please…)

 

[K-Drama] Reply 1997

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Title: 응답하라 1997 / Reply 1997 / Respond 1997 / Answer Me 1997
Genre: Romance, comedy
Episodes: 16
Broadcast network: TvN
Broadcast period: 24 July 2012 to 18 September 2012
 

This is my personal view of the drama so please note that this review might be subjective. Beware of spoilers!

 

The reasons of watching: Menu! >.< Menu suggested me this drama.

I was not a big fan of “rookie” groups (I supposed it is not appropriate anymore to call Infinite, A-Pink and Seo In Guk a rookie. But I was not that interested to know them until I watch this drama). It was even so hard to find a subbed video of the whole drama. But Menu told me where it is. 😀

Comments:

I can say I can relate to this drama quite well. 🙂 Firstly I am a kpop fan, which directly relate to the main character Song Shi Won. And lately I am digging into the first generation Kpop, the H.O.T, Sech Kies, G.O.D, Shinhwa, S.E.S, Baby V.O.X, and their kind. (Mostly Shinhwa though). So that’s why I can relate because I kinda know the songs and the members and stuffs.

The drama itself is kinda different. It didn’t go by chronological time. Instead it has a theme in each episode and enfolds the story behind it in the past time. It is so hard to explain and describe this. -_-” 

Second relation happened when they picture Shi Won going to study to Seoul (She’s from Busan and the whole drama mostly happened in Busan). I am a student studying overseas from a little town in Indonesia. *_* Not just stopping here, in the alumni meeting, they tease each other that they are using Seoul dialect because they all used to speak in Busan dialect. I did have this experience. -_- My dad always told me not to speak in Javanese dialect because if I became “big” person, people will laugh at me. And so when I moved to Perth and meet Indonesian people who are mostly from Jakarta/Bandung, I tried to speak “normal” Indonesian, and I did well. So in the early days I started talking using Jakarta dialect, people who were used to hearing me speak in Javanese always say I sound weird. -_- *sigh*

But I don’t have a relation to the deep friendship like in the drama, which is ssoooooo making me jealous. 😡 I don’t have a romantic relationship either. *sobs*

Overall, this is a drama that I can enjoy, but I completely understand if it may not be great drama to others. After all, most drama can get you engaged when the story or the actors/actresses are interesting. So if you cannot relate to the story and you don’t find the actors/actresses amusing, it may be hard to like it.  But for me the story itself is engaging because I can relate to in many aspects. For actors/actresses wise, this drama has these idols: Hoya of Infinte; A-Pink’s Jung Eun Ji; the winner of SuperStar-K, Seo In Guk and the leader of Sech Kies, Eun Ji Won (Insert a cheerleading/fan-girling moment). Not to mention the all the famous cameos I know: Shin Bong Sun, Jung Ju Ri, Kim Tae Won, Tony An, Kim Gook Jin, Im Si Wan, Yoon Hyun Bin, Yang Se Hyung, and more! Add more glimpses of old Kpop clips and lots of Kpop songs in the background. To be honest, I cannot recognise the real OST of this song because there are just a lot of Kpop song in the background as well as filling the moments of the drama itself. 

I wish to insert a part about Eun Ji Won. It is just so hilarious because Eun Ji Won is Sech Kies leader and there are parts where Sech Kies is shown in the drama. The awkward moment when Eun Ji Won as Hak Can watching Eun Ji Won as himself. LOL! And also Hak Can and Yoo Jung is somehow like Pil Suk and Jason in Dream High 1. They are not the main character but they are an amusing couple to follow. 🙂

4 Parts that made me cry! (not in any order, just the order I remembered it…)

1. The time when Shi Won really cried because his father got stomach cancer. It was a really touching scene because most of the time the family is always fighting and shouting at each other, seems like not respecting each other, but at this time all of them tries to be strong but they couldn’t. They can only hang on to each other.

2. When Yoon Jae ran to save Shi Won from the stalking man. I cried because at that time, he was avoiding Shi Won. He tried really hard to be cool. But he still couldn’t stop himself from thinking and caring about Shi Won. He was panicking and urgently ran and he didn’t care about himself and only thought of Shi Won.

3. Shi Won leaving for Seoul. Shi Won really cried when she had to go to Seoul. I cried because I thought of myself. I still remember clearly I was to excited of going abroad that I didn’t greet and say good bye properly to my family. I remembered someone told me, behind my back they were crying. T.T This made me cry!! OK NEXT!

4.Yoon Jae confessed his love and everything and decide not to see Shi Won again. It is just a heart breaking scene. It is a MUST see scene. T.T

Ending: Loved the ending. The whole drama has quite a few twists here and there but it ended beautifully. 🙂

 

 

Revived fangirl soul…

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Sometime while fangirling, I feel like I want to be close to the idol I like. I really wish I could see him with my own eyes. Maybe to touch and or talk to him is a very high unrealistic wish, but sometime I do wish it could happen.

The feeling of me as a fan, who can only watch and support from afar, is well reflected in this song -a song I suddenly stumble upon- A song ). A feeling that cries out “oppa… take me to where-ever you are. I just want to be next to you.”

Though when I’m quite sober from a fangirling mode, I don’t mind and actually can feel proud that I support my idol from afar. Like I am proud that I have the will to support by doing such stuffs. Like I have done this much things for him. Hahaha… (You know when you are a die-hard fan like me.)

The point of this post is that being far than the one you love can be painful. The coldness of being alone could hurt…

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