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Hello December :)

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It’s already December. Time flies…

Looking back at the last (previous) post, I think I need to tell you what happened.

So, I’ve got my result. God has been good to me, I passed everything. Thank God. I do feel really grateful. I am so relieved. Out of the three units I took, I got a PASS, a CREDIT and I think the other one is a DISTINCTION…

And after I got my result, I went to this dark (galau) days… where I woke up from my sleep and had nothing obliged to do. I mean like I really have nothing to do, no money to spent, no friends at my side (cuz they are either working or at school or doing their own stuff, pokoknya I’m home alone). Then yeah, I felt so empty, like I had this thoughts about myself, about who am I, what I am, the meaning of myself, my existence, my future, and so on and so forth. (Well, up to this day I still cannot figure out most of these questions but I just move on with what I have now).

So, during those galau days, I tried to find a job or just anything for me to do. Cuz if not I’m just going to sink deep. So I tried sending out resume to some shops in city and in Carousel shopping centre. I also applied for some volunteer works. But after a few days or weeks it was still nothing. Then like some friends offered me jobs, so I applied through them. At last, I got job from my church friend, Mario, in Hans café in Applecross.

It’s a good job, I actually like it. Though there are some stressful moments, I think they are still manageable and reasonable. I got it like 2 weeks ago, I think. My job is being a waitress and at the till, and sometimes I help with some kitchen-hand works. I like it because the boss and the colleagues are so good and friendly, like I think I can get along well. The café opens for lunch and dinner. I do both shifts, depending on the shifts given. It took me about 45minutes to an hour to get there or going back home. For now when I got a night shift, Mario take me home. (I feel I owed him a lot.) But after this Mario will go back to Indonesia, so I will have to get home by bus. Hopefully it will be okay, I mean I can get home safely. I think I should be fine catching the public transport. I am just a bit scared going through the dark park when I have to go home by myself.

I am happy I found a job, because I get pocket money. And today I went shopping. I set myself a little loose. (I should restrain myself a bit after this. Promise!) I bought stuff that I think I need. I bought bobby pins because my baby hair at my fringe already grew long. When I work, I need to tie back my hair, but those long baby hair are not long enough to be tied back, so I need some bobby pins. And I also bought a white shirt, cuz I don’t have any here in Perth, where my job requires a white top. I also bought a singlet cuz white clothes are mostly see through… (kinda…) And I also bought a handbag. My excuse for it is that my “old” handbag is made from velvet material, and it has some (kinda a lot of) scratches which made it look bad. 😦 I actually like my old handbag but now it looked unpresentable and some the materials is starting to fall off. I got the new handbag from Kate Hill with a good price, and I fell in love once I saw the price. I think $30 is a reasonable price for a handbag in Perth… and I quite like the model. And I bought some other few stuffs which I don’t really need but I want, just because.



Revived fangirl soul…

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Sometime while fangirling, I feel like I want to be close to the idol I like. I really wish I could see him with my own eyes. Maybe to touch and or talk to him is a very high unrealistic wish, but sometime I do wish it could happen.

The feeling of me as a fan, who can only watch and support from afar, is well reflected in this song -a song I suddenly stumble upon- A song ). A feeling that cries out “oppa… take me to where-ever you are. I just want to be next to you.”

Though when I’m quite sober from a fangirling mode, I don’t mind and actually can feel proud that I support my idol from afar. Like I am proud that I have the will to support by doing such stuffs. Like I have done this much things for him. Hahaha… (You know when you are a die-hard fan like me.)

The point of this post is that being far than the one you love can be painful. The coldness of being alone could hurt…

Oh this is my self-reflection assignment

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Posting this just because a self-reflection is just similar to how I write my other blog post. 
Just because I always post my written opinion on my blog. 

if you don't mind... 


hehe :P


On Friday, 18 May 2012 I went to help at Bentley Primary school canteen. The school canteen is run by volunteers. When I went there, I met Hayley and Kyla. They are two mothers who are volunteering to run the school canteen. The school canteen operates on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. There were 3 mothers who are regularly volunteered themselves to run the school canteen. But the other mother only comes on Monday because she is working on the other day.

When I first came in, the volunteers were taking orders from the children, parents and school teachers for their lunch. The lunches were made to orders. After that I went to help them prepare for the lunches and the recess foods. I helped cut the vegetables for the hamburger and egg salad. The vegetables were fresh but the patty for the hamburger was frozen.

While I was doing that, the two ladies were heating up food for the recess snacks. The snacks that were served that day are popcorn, cheesies, mini pies, lasagna bites, stuffed potatoes, hot chocolate and quiches. They also sell hot chocolate under the recess food menu. The popcorn is made on that day. Cheesies is a slice of hamburger bun and melted cheese. This is also prepared on the day. Mini pies, lasagna bites and quiches were frozen and they were just reheated on the day. The stuffed potatoes used potatoes that had been baked before and the stuffing was frozen.  There is an interesting story behind this hot chocolate. They used chocolate milk in the box and reheat it in the microwave. Then they put in those take-away coffee cups. They used those cups because the children don’t really buy them when they used it on ordinary foam cups.

In recess time, the cheesies were sold out. Some bought milk, hot chocolate, lasagna bites and pies.

Between recess and lunch time, we made apple and blueberry stuffing for the apple and blueberry pie. We also made beef stuffing for the lasagna bites. Those stuffing are then frozen and will be reheated when they are going to be served.

During lunch times, children will take their orders. Most children ordered pizza and some bought sandwich. Some left over snacks from the recess will be sold again. At lunch time, they sell ice cream. Surprisingly, despite the cold weather ice cream was an item that many children bought. According to the school canteen regulation, ice cream can only be sold during lunch time.

From what I observed and my conversation with the volunteers, the school canteen followed WA School Canteen Association. They follow their accreditation program known as Star CAP. Based on their menu, they have more than 77% green categorised food and about 23% amber. As described above, they don’t sell any red food items such as soft drinks. The canteen also has a coordinated whole school approach to promote health. The teachers, school staff and parents promote good eating habit by eating healthy food provided by the school canteen.

Their priority is giving the children good and nutritious food while at school. Therefore, they sell the food at an affordable price for the children. They did not take much profit from the sales but just enough to keep the canteen business going on.

In conclusion, school canteen is an important setting for public health nutrition policy because the school canteen is a place where the children can learn and understand about healthy food choices as well as the food group that is not supposed to be eaten so often. The school canteen that is accredited with Star CAP can help the kids to have healthy food habits.

My pray this morning 20-03-2011

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Tuhan Yesus,

aku ingin bersyukur, Tuhan, pada hari ini Engkau telah membangunkanku pagi hari.

Engkau menuntun setiap langkahku dalam memulai hari ini.


aku bersyukur untuk teman-teman yang Engkau berikan, Tuhan

aku bersyukur untuk teman-teman yang bisa membawaku bertumbuh lebih mengenalmu, Tuhan

It’s April!

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So time flies, huh? It feels that way when we are feeling fine or happy or not having such hard time. Yes, this time I am feeling reasonably fine. 🙂

Today is April 3rd. Just before it’s too far away, I’d like to say APRIL FOOL! (LOL) Because this year April 1st falls on a Sunday, I thought no one would play prank on me. I rarely got prank anyway. So as the day went on, I almost forgot that it’s an April fool day until a friend of mine play a lil’ prank on me. Fooling me to blow her Samsung phone to see if a picture could move (like in an iPhone). -____- I fell badly on it. BUT ANYWAY I’M HAPPY SOMEONE DIDN’T FORGET TO PRANK ME. LoL

Speaking of prank, I sometime thinks back and wonder why I didn’t get much prank. When watching or doing prank it seems fun. ㅎㅎㅎ

Talking about prank and It’s April! reminds me about my birthday next month. 😀 In my country those having birthday are so prone of getting prank(ed). I witnessed (and also did) pranks that are so bad. For example pouring water (or worse milk, soft drinks, etc) on the one having a birthday. Some might gave a “birthday surprise” at 00.00am that day. I wonder how it feels to have someone (some people) so determined to celebrate your birthday.

Celebrating birthday is always one of my special wish. I always wished to have a special celebration on my birthday. I got my dream birthday on my 17th bday. That time I was tired of celebrating it just with my family and relatives, I wanted to have a birthday party with my friends. After my 5th birthday I didn’t get birthday cake, so on that 17th birthday I wanted a birthday cake. Those two wishes was granted by my lovely parents. I was so happy.

For now, I still want to have a party but it becomes unnecessary. Celebrating doesn’t mean having party in a fancy restaurant (though sometime I wished for it 😛 ). I prefer celebrating with those who really care and love me, those who are close to me in real life. And doing it doesn’t really need a special place, does it?

Talking about celebrating birthday, it leads to birthday presents! \o/ (I looked like a little kid, don’t I?) May I tell my wishes frankly? 😛 I wish I could “support” those celebs I really like right nowby buying their stuffs.

Big Bang ALIVE mini-album


To be more frankly, I wish I could buy Big Bang’s album or their new mini-album ALIVE.









I also want plushies from Wong Fu’s store, especially that XL-sized awkward turtle

Awkward Turtle

or that awkward Panda.

Awkward Panda



It’s never wrong to dream.

Right? 😛


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Have you ever hurt a part of your body? Like for example you hit yourself to a table? It’s painful, right? When that happened, what did you do? When that happen to me, when it hurts so much, I hurt another part of myself to lessen the pain. I bit my lips or my tongue or pinch myself so that the first pain doesn’t feel that painful because the pain I created is more powerful. Because the body will focus more on the most painful one, I will sort of ignore the first pain until it goes away. I don’t know how to say this in a simpler way but I hope you understand what I was trying to say.

Now, my heart hurts so much. I lost my hope. I don’t have any goal or plan. I feel so terrible. I was wrong, I made mistakes, I’ve sinned and I couldn’t come back. I feel I have nowhere to go. I feel so lost.

There was a saying “I live because I’m not dead yet.”

My heart hurts so much. It is so true that having hope and faith is the most important thing of all. So, now when I lost my hope and my goal, I feel like I don’t have the reason to live. I thought of ending my life. I thought, just thought. But I find it funny. When I was little, I couldn’t understand why people commit suicide. It is so funny remembering it back. I thought it is such a waste of life if people just kill themselves. It would be better if they just work and use their energy for something else rather than taking their own life. If they are so depressed about something, just go away from it and just use their body for something else more useful. I thought committing suicide was a stupid thing. Those are my thoughts when I was little. I laughed. I laughed because now I understand about the thought of suicide. I laughed because my own thought held me from committing one.

And so i don’t want to die for such thing. I know this is stupid. I know. I have this faith in God. I believe Him. And so I know that if I’m not dead yet, God is giving me a chance to repent from my sin. I know. But for some reason, I find it so hard to go back and repent. I am strangled and tangled in a problem and I feel like I could never be freed. I … was thinking to forget this chance of turning back.

This pain. I am emotionally wounded. And it hurts so much. So much that I was thinking to hurt myself physically. I want to hurt myself until it surpasses the pain in my heart. I also was thinking to run away and look away in order to forget this pain. But it is still here, the pain… Even when I run away, it’ll come back. Even when I look away, it’ll still be there.

This pain, I sort of know, it needed to be healed. It need to be touched and treated. Like a wound when someone fall, it needs to be treated with alcohol to prevent infection. It might hurt to be treated but once it’s treated it will heal.

So… now… I wish to be treated… I wish it will heal…

When I feel lonely

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This time of the day when I’m all alone, I’m wondering how’s everybody doing. Actually, deep inside I wonder if any of them misses me.

I didn’t ring anyone. I just went online, everywhere in social network places I have account on. Huh.. This is the other black side of me. I don’t communicate well with people. I think I cannot talk as fluently as I write. What can I do?

This time of the day, I wonder if one will just greet me… and talk to me…

Aahh what a dream~

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