The end of the year is coming soon!

It’s late November now almost December. I already think that this week is already early December because of all these Christmas atmosphere in Perth.

What I am going to do with my blog in this time of the year? I thought it’s a good think to reflect back to what has happened with this blog. 🙂

I look back at my own writings here and I read my pages. Some contents are out of date and they need to be corrected, so I did change and update them. I updated my [ABOUT ME] page, so please check it out.

I wrote in the early years of my blog that I will write about Perth. Well, I did try to do some blog post. I walked in city and many areas of Perth. But really I find Perth is really boring. LOL. (no offense). I didn’t have the will to write about Perth. Maybe if something about Perth hits me or someone really wants me to talk about it on my blog, I will do it. But for now, I won’t.

I also say I might write about food. Well, I don’t know where to start yet. So, it’ll be the same case as above.

As you, readers, see, I really talked about Korean things and myself. 🙂 Thus, I will continue to do so. I still love Korean music and Korean drama, and I will talk about it here. About myself, I will of course write like so. My blog has become something like a diary for me.

ABOUT KOREAN THINGS CATEGORY:

After SungKyunKwan Scandal up til now, I have watched Protect the Boss, City Hunter and currently Cinderella Sister (listed as per time finished watching). Therefore, I planned to write my opinion about them. ^.^

About K-pop, I know I didn’t write much. But like I said before, I will share my opinion and reactions to some Kpop MVs. 🙂

***Well, that’s all updates for now. Wish me good things will happen to me in time to come.***

Pain

Have you ever hurt a part of your body? Like for example you hit yourself to a table? It’s painful, right? When that happened, what did you do? When that happen to me, when it hurts so much, I hurt another part of myself to lessen the pain. I bit my lips or my tongue or pinch myself so that the first pain doesn’t feel that painful because the pain I created is more powerful. Because the body will focus more on the most painful one, I will sort of ignore the first pain until it goes away. I don’t know how to say this in a simpler way but I hope you understand what I was trying to say.

Now, my heart hurts so much. I lost my hope. I don’t have any goal or plan. I feel so terrible. I was wrong, I made mistakes, I’ve sinned and I couldn’t come back. I feel I have nowhere to go. I feel so lost.

There was a saying “I live because I’m not dead yet.”

My heart hurts so much. It is so true that having hope and faith is the most important thing of all. So, now when I lost my hope and my goal, I feel like I don’t have the reason to live. I thought of ending my life. I thought, just thought. But I find it funny. When I was little, I couldn’t understand why people commit suicide. It is so funny remembering it back. I thought it is such a waste of life if people just kill themselves. It would be better if they just work and use their energy for something else rather than taking their own life. If they are so depressed about something, just go away from it and just use their body for something else more useful. I thought committing suicide was a stupid thing. Those are my thoughts when I was little. I laughed. I laughed because now I understand about the thought of suicide. I laughed because my own thought held me from committing one.

And so i don’t want to die for such thing. I know this is stupid. I know. I have this faith in God. I believe Him. And so I know that if I’m not dead yet, God is giving me a chance to repent from my sin. I know. But for some reason, I find it so hard to go back and repent. I am strangled and tangled in a problem and I feel like I could never be freed. I … was thinking to forget this chance of turning back.

This pain. I am emotionally wounded. And it hurts so much. So much that I was thinking to hurt myself physically. I want to hurt myself until it surpasses the pain in my heart. I also was thinking to run away and look away in order to forget this pain. But it is still here, the pain… Even when I run away, it’ll come back. Even when I look away, it’ll still be there.

This pain, I sort of know, it needed to be healed. It need to be touched and treated. Like a wound when someone fall, it needs to be treated with alcohol to prevent infection. It might hurt to be treated but once it’s treated it will heal.

So… now… I wish to be treated… I wish it will heal…

[Drama Review] – SungKyunKwan Scandal

Title: 성균관 스캔들 / Sungkyunkwan Scandal

Genre: Romance, comedy

Episodes: 20

Broadcast network: KBS2

Broadcast period: 2010-Aug-30 to 2010-Nov-02

 

This is my personal view of the drama so please note that this review might be subjective. Beware of spoilers!

The reason of watching: I heard that the rating was quite high. This drama was aired together with Playful Kiss in other channel and this drama won over it. Park Min Young and Micky Yoo Chun was two people I know before watching this drama. Park Min Young I know from Secret Garden and Yoo Chun was a DBSK (JYJ) member. P.S. At that time I didn’t think that YooChun was that handsome so I had no expectation of liking the main character. 😛

Review: The drama depicts the social classes which existed at time. I couldn’t recall things in details but the drama was talking about these scholars from 4 different social ranks, Kim Yoon Shik (Park Min Young); Lee Son Jun (Micky YooChun); Moon Jae Shin (Yoo Ah In) and Go Young Ha (Song Jong Ki). Kim Yoon Shik was actually a girl who lives with her mother and her sick younger brother. She works as book copier using her brother’s identity. She almost do anything for money. One day she bumped to Jae Shin who was a “lazy” scholar. Jae Shin is somewhat a hero like person who defend those who are poor. The story rolls along when Yoon Shik met Son Junaccidentally. They kept meeting and got into trouble together. Son Jun was a son of a minister with high position. Everybody respects him highly. However he is really strict and straight. He wanted to put up justice and equality. As Yoon Shik and Son Jun goes to SungKyunKwan university they went through an event where the seniors “play” with the juniors.Young Ha was one of the head seniors. He is a smart student though he is not diligent. Young Ha is a friend of Jae Shin. The story goes on until one day these 4 lead characters were told to search the GeumDeungJiSa, a letter which holds a documentary of what happened during the war. In the war, Yoon Shik’s father and Jae Shin’s older brother was killed.

This drama is very entertaining for me in terms of its political aspects. The way the bad people tries to topple over the good people, the way they want to keep their power, etc are really entertaining to watch. Besides the political aspect I like the way they put some philosophical thoughts from the scholars. Therefore there is something else that I can learn and enjoy beside the romance.

The way they picture some scene are somehow disturbing for me. They still show Yoon Shik as a girl and not so much of the boyish image although she was wearing all these boy clothing and attires. For example the scene where Yoon Shik and Son Jun was chased for buying and delivering the banned books, I feel so wrong with the way Son Jun hugs Yoon Shik. It was not the way guys hug guys, it was clearly a romantic hug between boy and girl. *shivers* Also in the archery practice, that’s not how guys teach a guy how to arrow a bow, well not by hugging from the back. -___-

However the ending was okay. It’s a happy ending. 🙂

The most memorable part:

I’m sorry but I was Jae Shin’s bias so the memorable part was mostly the Jae Shin scene.

1. The crying Jae Shin when he was locked by his father. Jae Shin was lifeless after his brother died. His brother was a big influence to him, so when he died Jae Shin seems lost. Jae Shin goes out at night as this “ninja” like who throw red letters. One day he went out and consciously went into a trap. He was wounded seriously and he became the top wanted criminal. His father tried to lock him up to prevent him going out recklessly. During the chasing the night he was wounded, Son Jun give up himself as the fake “ninja”. Once the guards were away, Jae Shin was taken home. But after a few days Yoon Shik and Yong Ha tries to get him out. Then with the help of one of the professor there, they got the idea to release Son Jun.

2.(Another Jae Shin scene). The part where Jae Shin became really wise by quoting his brother’s advice to a young thief. This thief was forced to stole the goods of the scholars because he was really poor and he didn’t have money to bury his mother. Jae Shin looked really like a big brother to that thief boy.

3. The archery contest. The archery contest was a contest in SungKyunKwan university which is a big event watched by the king. The contest goes per group which has 3 people in each group. Jae Shin, Yoon Shik, and Son Jun were in the same team. Yoon Shik as a girl had never hold an arch bow and arrow before but Son Jun trained and motivated her a lot, so during the contest she did quite well. Son Jun was a really good archer, but because of the cunning method of the rival group of the head of student body, he was injured. He forced himself to train his left arm to draw the arrow. Jae Shin was a really good archer too, as he was the ninja who use arrow all the time. But during the contest he was wounded due to the night before he became ninja and was almost caught by the guards. Thus, he couldn’t perform well. At the final, Jae Shin still couldn’t do well so he lost his round. Son Jun won his round. Therefore, the last person, ie. Yoon Shik, has to win her round to win this contest. However, the cunning opponent team put glasses or sharp things on Yoon Shik’s arrow that her hand bled heavily. But due to her vigorous training, she finally can score well and win the game!

Ending: Expected ending. Yoon Shik and Son Jun married happily ever after. -____- A new world with equality. Jae Shin seems to be a guard or soldier or something. Young Ha still as ever, a playboy. hahaha…

Rating: 4 out of 5

I still care about this blog ;-<

OMG!!! I realised that it has been months since I post anything.( T.T) I promised I’ll write this and that in my last post but things kinda got twisted. This semester has been the worst one so far. I was kinda fallen deep into depression and don’t care about anything, thus jumping into stupid conclusions. But thank God I’m still alive till now. (I may talk about this later). So yeah, now the semester come into an end and I am outta shape. Being stressed made me fatter and really unfit. >.<. While I was stressing about exam, somehow my mind didn’t wanna work together with me and wander around instead. I was thinking about many things.

When I was stressed I ate a lot and slept a lot. I just don’t want to do anything. Try to forget everything. These resulted in me gaining weight. This state of physical health was discovered to in a fitness test in one of my subject I took. It was measuring fitness level. I put my expected fitness level as POOR, just for a joke. There were 5 levels: Superior, Excellent, Good, Fair and Poor. I thought I won’t be in the bottom, I’ll be fair. But the result showed that I was really really poor! OMG! I was kinda shocked and thought an action should be taken soon. (As soon as I finished exam, I think).

Yeah, so I was thinking about taking this fitness class in the campus’ gym. At the beginning of the year I didn’t even consider it because it was kinda expensive. But now I think it is quite reasonable. The day after I finished exam, I went to the gym ask about the prices and stuffs. I’m still contemplating. I need to go back in shape and have more exercise, take care about my diet, etc. But I am not the type of person who likes to go exercise. I like to exercise when I can socialize as well, in other words I can have fun with friends and be more motivated. I tend to lose track when I do stuffs on my own, because no one would care to remind me to do so. When I say excuses to myself, I tend to let it go and it becomes a positive feedback cycle until I don’t do anything at the end. *sigh* Secondly, I planned to go to this fitness class every morning during holiday. I would go to the gym walking (which takes about 45mins). But now I am not so sure because the classes they offer only commence in early morning (i’m talking about 6-7am) or midday (12pm) or late (4-7pm). *pouts* this hours are not so convenient. :S

Talking about another things, during exam weeks my mind wandered around. Got distracted with this Kpop Concert in Sydney. A part of my heart still can’t accept the fact that I am not going there. ;( Well, I thought the ticket price was not bad if it was compared to other concerts’ price. But then the flight from Perth to Sydney and going back cost like AUD400. Then I still need to book a hotel room or motel or backpackers or any place to sleep, right? So in total – tickets, transportation and accommodation- comes to about AUD1000-ish. This amount of money… where can I get it? Well I do have money in my bank account but I don’t have the heart to spend this much of money, this much of my dad’s hard work. I kept getting this information that my dad is working really hard back in Indonesia, getting thinner, work late and eating less. Knowing this and remembering that I go to Perth is for studying made me decide to not go to that concert. (and that part of my heart still wishes that I will once watch Kpop concert with English translation). ;(

Okay, that’s it for now. I talked too much in this post. I’ll review SungKyungKwan Scandal soon, and since I watched Protect The Boss, I’ll write a review for that afterward. Now as I’m in holiday, do you want to suggest what drama or show that I should watch and write a review for?